Good Bye, Almond

July 31, 2016

 After she came back from the hospital, it seemed she was recovering

because she was being very active and started eating something.

 

병원에 다녀온 후 아몬드의 기력이 많이 회복됨.

뭔가 좀 더 기운도 차리고 밥도 먹기 시작했음.

 

 

 This video was taken right before her illness got worse.

She was greeting me with passion as soon as she saw me although she was still sick and hungry :(

 

아몬드의 병이 심각해 지기 바로 전 찍은 영상..

아직도 아프고 먹지못해서 배고플텐데

본인을 보자마자 저렇게 힘차게 반겨줌...ㅠㅠㅠㅠ

 

 

About two weeks after getting an emergency service,

I found her laying on the floor, breathing heavily.

I had to take her to the vet right away again.

Some strange smell was coming out from her body.

 

The doctor I met this time was super nice and gently took care of Almond.

After few minutes of examination, the vet spoke to me with a serious face.

He told me that I need to get ready to let her go...

I asked him several times if there's any way she can survive from this illness.

I didn't want to let her go :(

As soon as he said that she won't be able to make it,

so much tears came out from my eyes for about 30min :(

 

When I came out from the examination room, I went to the front to pay the bill.

This one guy who brought a cat with him slowly approached to me and said

"Hey, what you got there in the little box??"

He looked at Almond and then started laughing at me saying

"Ahahaha A hamster? You really came here just for that thing?"

WTF?

What's wrong with it?? What's so funny about?

How could you say such a bs if you are also a pet owner?

She's tiny, but that doesn't mean she has no right to be treated by a vet when she's sick.

Almond has such a small body, but she was very smart and nice girl.

To me, Almond was my pet and also a friend of mine.

I hope your fking cat gets the same diseases that Almond has.  

 

병원 다녀온지 2주만에 다시 증세가 너무 악화됨.

숨을 제대로 쉬지 못하고 죽은듯 퍼져서 누워있었음.

깔끔하고 깨끗했던 아몬드에게서 좋지 않은 냄새까지 났음..

본인은 기다릴 것 없이 또 바로 병원에 데려갔음.

 

이번에 만난 닥터는 아문드를 친절하게 대해줌.

아기를 다루듯 조심스럽게 진찰해주심.

닥터가 본인에게 말을 함.

마음의 준비를 해야 할것 같다고 ㅠㅠㅠㅠ

그 말 듣자마자 폭풍 눈물이 ㅠㅠㅠㅠ

안에서 30분은 넘게 울었던것같음...ㅠㅠㅠㅠ

 

아몬드를 진찰실에서 데리고 나와 병원비를 내기 위해 대기실에 있었을때

어떤 고양이를 데리고 온 백인남자가 나에게 "그 작은 상자안에는 뭐가 들었냐" 라며 다가옴.

아몬드를 보더니 껄껄 웃으며 이렇게 말함

"햄스터임?? 고작 그거 하나 때문에 여기까지 온건가? ㅋㅋㅋ"

폭풍 눈물을 쏟아내고 나온 본인이 들었던 말임.

남에 눈엔 고작 햄스터일지라도

본인에겐 소중한 애완동물이고 친구였음.

비록 작은 몸을 하고 있지만 아몬드는 정말 똑똑하고 착한 아이였음.

햄스터가 병원 오는게 그렇게 웃긴 일임?

햄스터는 동물 아님???

몸집은 작아도 생명이고 치료받고 더 살아갈 권리 충분히 있는 녀석임 ㅠㅠㅠ

같은 애완동물 키우는 입장이고 그 반려동물이 아파서 병원왔는데

어떻게 주둥이에서 그딴 말이 나올 수 있는지 ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

 

 

This video is taken when Almond came back from the hospital.

When I saw her with no strength, I hated myself so much...

I failed to be an owner :(

I let her get sick,

I couldn't let her stay at the hospital because of the money problem,

I wasn't encouraged to have her euthanasia.

I was super sad :((

All I could do for her was giving her medicine and fresh food.

My heart broke into small pieces when she refused to eat her favorite food :((((

 

병원 다녀온 아몬드의 모습.

기력이 하나도 없는 아몬드를 보고있을땐

본인 자신이 너무나도 싫고 미웠음 ㅠㅠ.

주인이 되서 애 병이나 걸리게하고 ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

돈도 없어서 입원도 못시켜 병이 더 악화되고 ㅠㅠㅠㅠ

고통스러워 하는걸 보고있으면서도 안락사 시킬 용기도 없고 ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

너무 슬펐음 ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

본인이 할 수 있는거라곤 겨우 약을 먹이고 

신선한 음식을 옆에 껴주고

지켜보는것밖에 없었음 ㅠㅠㅠㅠ

아몬드가 좀 더 곁에 있어주길 간절히 바랬었습니다 ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

 

 

She went across the rainbow bridge 3 days after visiting the vet....

I had to work for the whole day, so i couldn't see her leaving...

My mom told me that there was a weird sound, some loud teeth clicking sound.

When she checked up on the cage, she saw Almond was opening her mouth wide with so much pain.

And when she called Almond's name, she staggered to approach to my mom.

She tried to walk out from her little house, but she couldn't make it :( 

 

병원에 두번째 다녀온후 3일동안 시름시름하다

결국 무지개다리를 건너버렸음....

본인이 이날 하루종일 일을 해야해서 밖에 있었음....

그 하루종일 일하는 내내 아몬드 걱정밖에 되지 않았음...

엄마 말로는 케이지에서 이상한 이빨 부딪치는 소리가 나서 보니까

평소에 자던 집 안에서 입을 쩍쩍 벌리며 고통스러워하길래

아몬드의 이름을 불렀더니

엄마에게 다가가려고 일어나서 비틀거리며 나오다가

결국 쓰러졌다함 

ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

아 또 눈물나와 ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

아몬드 마지막길도 같이 있어주지 못하고 

본인은 ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

일 끝나면 바로 가서 아몬드 눈꼽도 떼주고 약도 먹여주고

몸도 따뜻한 수건으로 닦아주려고 했는데 ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

 

 

The day when Almond passed away, I asked my bf to look for a crematorium over night,

and we took her body to the pet crematorium the next morning.  

 

아몬드가 떠난 날 밤 남친에게 화장터좀 알아봐 달라 부탁함.

다음날 아침 일찍 바로 화장터로 데려감 ㅠㅠㅠ.

 

 I left home at 7am as soon as the crematorium opens to take Almond there.

I was wondering around outside all day and came back home at 1am at night.

I didn't want to go home because her empty cage would make me all depressed and sad all day long..

 

아몬드를 아침 7시에 화장터 문이 열자마자 데려다 놓은 후,

하루종일 돌아다니다 밤 1시 넘어서 집에들어옴.

집에 돌아갈 용기가 나지 않았음.

비어있는 아몬드 케이지를 보면 울기만 할까봐 ㅠㅠㅠ

 

 

 And she came back home 2 days later..

 

 Almond's foot print :'(

 

 Almond is traveling around the world now.

 

 

 

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